Social Skills For All

I have been reading and talking a lot about social skills lately. My son, now 13, has struggled with social skills deficits all his life. Social skills instruction has always been a main focus of his IEP. The instruction he receives however, has always been in isolation with a handful of other similarly socially challenged kids.

While his SPED teacher insists she has seen great improvement within that group, there is no evidence of such improvement anywhere else. In fact, since it takes place primarily during lunch, it has effectively isolated him even further from his typically developing peers.

When I have inquired about including different groups of kids, I was told this would only serve to magnify the problem and open him up to more ridicule. Hmmm, and who's social skills deficit would THAT be?

There is an inherent flaw in the system when the focus is placed only on the lack of social skills which cause students to be outcast or bullied and not on the lack of social skills shown in casting them out and/or bullying them in the first place.

Recently I read an article posted on the Autism Speaks website about a study that showed training typically developing peers how to interact with children with social problems and autism yielded better results than teaching only those with deficits.You can find the article here.


That got me thinking. Why is teaching social skills not a mandatory part of school curriculum? Look around you. Read the news. Watch TV. Kids in Special Education are far from the only ones who could benefit from social skills instruction. Learning the concepts of inclusion and acceptance tolerance and compassion can only benefit us as a society.

What are social skills? There are many definitions out there but what it all boils down to is one's ability to communicate and interact with others successfully. It includes outward displays like conflict resolution, establishing and maintaining interpersonal relationships, communicating wants and needs in a positive way. It also includes inner aspects like listening, interpreting facial expressions and body language and emotional control. Think of what a wonderful world it would be if everyone exhibited good social skills.

Early intervention and continued reinforcement would be best but that doesn't mean social skills curriculum cannot be introduced at the middle or even high school level.  According to the National Association of School Psychologists, there are several school wide evidence-based social skills training programs out there including  "Stop and Think", Primary Mental Health Project, The EQUIP Program, PREPARE and ACCEPTS.  I would strongly urge everyone out there to contact your local school board or attend the next board meeting and ask about adding a social skills training program for all students in the district. It seems like a natural addition to any Language Arts program.  They are relatively inexpensive and the benefits would reach far beyond the classroom.